I was watching Shawn Achor, author of “The Happiness Advantage, on Oprah’s “Super Soul Sunday” show who was saying many things that I have said to my clients ie Science, Psychology and Spirituality are all saying the same thing in different words! Religion and Spirituality have always been recommending love and gratitude for a happier life. Now the sciences are getting on board with this school of thought.

When we come from love, instead of ego, and are grateful for what we have in our lives, we are happier. This is the way of thinking for most religious and spiritual people but it is also recommended in Psychology. Cognitive Therapy is probably the most common modality in psychological treatment today. Cognitive Therapy is changing the way that you think by rewriting your story and interpreting your life in a positive light. This will probably result in more happiness and improved mental health. Positive Psychology is recommending less judgment and more gratitude, forgiveness and separating from others’ behaviors/words and avoid depending on others for your happiness and self worth. We are all responsible for our own happiness which brings me to Co-Dependency.

Many people think that Co-Dependency means you are too dependent on others but this is not the whole definition. People that exhibit co-dependent behavior do depend on others but mostly for them to define their self worth. People pleasing is a co-dependent behavior. When you say, “yes” when you mean “no,” you are not being your authentic self. When I ask clients why they say “yes” even at the expense of their own mental health, they usually respond that, “People won’t like me if I say, “no.” They explain that if someone doesn’t like them, they have no self worth. Allowing others to define your self worth is giving away your power and setting you up for a fall later. Why would you choose to spend time with people that only like you when you say “yes” to them?

Now Science is weighing in on happiness. Researchers are studying brain activity and changes and are finding physiological evidence that the way we think and respond to life and others affects our physical health. Studies are showing that meditation and positive thinking can improve your physical health despite your DNA and predisposition to certain illnesses via your genes.

So when studying the path to Happiness via your spiritual beliefs, your mental health, or your medical/physical health, you will eventually come to the same conclusion; LOVE. When you love yourself, you take better care of yourself and are happier. This in turn creates the desire to show love to others which continues that happiness cycle. Maybe the Hippies were on to something after all?