The chances of trying something new or going after our dreams is connected to how we feel about ourselves. The quality of our lives may depend on how we see ourselves.
If we allow others to define our self worth, we are giving away our power by depending on others to determine whether we are likable, lovable, desirable, intelligent, attractive, etc. The problem with this is that when we are alone or not in a romantic relationship, we cannot trust our own judgment to determine our own self worth. If a relationship doesn’t work out, we would then blame our flaws on the break up.
So how can we begin to work on raising our self esteem? Here are some simple ways to begin:
- Authenticity – Have the courage to be yourself. This is the only way you will find out who likes you for you. If you have to pretend around someone hoping they’ll like you, don’t waste your time. It’s exhausting and you’ll never find out who your true friends are.
- Judgment – Once you stop judging, you probably won’t fear judgment or judge yourself harshly anymore. Try to limit your time with negative, critical and gossipy people.
- Self Talk – We must be aware of our self talk. If we constantly berate ourselves for not being perfect, we cannot work on our self esteem. We must learn how to love ourselves and speak to ourselves as we would to a child or someone we love.
- Helping Others – When we help others, we stop ruminating on our dissatisfactions and feel good about ourselves which in turn helps us raise our self esteem. Let others help you too so that they may have the same opportunity to feel good about themselves.
-Lisa Tetreault, LMHC