Many people think they will be happy when they get that job, car, house, partner, etc but happiness continues to be elusive and the way to happiness seems to always be put off down the road.

Some people think if they move and start over somewhere new they will finally be happy. Unfortunately, wherever you go, you bring yourself. If you are not happy “here,” chances are you won’t be happy “there.” Happiness comes from inside out, not the other way around.

The way you think creates your life. The way you interpret what is happening around you will have a direct effect on your mood. Self talk has a lot of influence on how you feel about your life. Some people do not even realize that they have self talk or that it is negative. Some people run all day and night in an attempt to avoid being alone with their thoughts so they can just collapse in exhaustion by the end of the night. This is why they are not aware of any “self talk” or “inner dialog.”

Why is self talk so important and what is it? It’s our running dialog in our heads (although as I get older it is often spoken aloud.) lol Let’s face it, if you are constantly remarking on the things that you don’t want and don’t like and continually criticize yourself for your imperfections, you’re bound to become sad and maybe even depressed. Sometimes that critical voice in your head is actually very similar to the voice of a hard to please parent from childhood. It’s time to forgive yourself for being flawed. After all, it is your flaws that make you human and endear you to others.

I would recommend finding the best time of day to concentrate on what you like, want and hope for. The secret to happiness is gratitude so try to think about all the positives in your life and the things that you are grateful for. Allow yourself to feel your feelings and listen to your thoughts . You can call it meditation, mindfulness, or your happiness ritual but I believe you will have a better day and quality of life.

Lisa Tetreault, LMHC